The Vampire Diaries 

Recap

4x12- A View to Kill

Can I just say- What an episode!! You gotta love an episode that starts out with Stefan doing a walk of shame and getting caught by his ambiguously gay partner, Klaus, after having boinked his sister. 

Turns out there's another decade dance. This time it's the 80's. I know you are thinking- lame! But don't worry... (spoiler alert- it gets cancelled)

 Bonnie is covering for Caroline, who is missing in this episode. :( And she's whining to Elena about how she needs to fill up 99 red balloons. Elena is filling Bonnie in on her awful plan to kill Kol to help speed Jeremy's mark along. 

 For once we get to see our two human guys doing what human guys do- Play video games. Matt has off from the Grill and they are kicking back relaxing. And Elena is whining that there isn't enough killing going on or something. I kind of tuned out for the details of her yet again awful plan. 

 Then Bonnie's Dad calls her to cancel the dance. Doh! 

To make matters worse, Kol shows up and tries to kill Bonnie.

I'm thinking Caroline killing her over balloons may be the least of her worries now. 

  

Back in the Salvatore house, Stefan has Damon locked up so that he won't kill Jeremy. 

Stefan knows that Damon will be bored so he brings Klaus along to babysit and let them have a little "Villain bonding time" I swear they are giving Stefan the best lines this season. 

Klaus lets it slip that Stefan and Bex were caught doing the nasty this morning and because they share pretty much all of their women, Damon is not shocked. 

Stefan gets an awkward call from Elena where she fills him in on her horrible plan to kill Kol and dagger Bex.

Speaking of Kol, he's on his way to see Elena

The next part reminds me of a bad horror movie: 

The other thing that cracks me up about this show is the props. 

Bex confronts Stefan about his motive behind sleeping with her. 

In Damon's basement, Klaus turns to Damon. 

The whole middle part of the show was a bit slow moving while Elena distracted Kol while Matt was off finding the dagger and Jeremy was tracking down Bonnie. Kol was going on and on about his upcoming pilot... 

Matt was having no luck finding the dagger in Bex's room.

Meanwhile, Bonnie's Dad was staging a witchervention back at his house and he even called in the bug guns. 

Jeremy stopped by and got all homicidal on Mama Vamp until Bonnie flirted him back down. 

Meanwhile, back at the cancelled dance, Stefan tries to keep Bex distracted with his charming ways. He gives her a koala corsage and seems to be genuinely nice to her. 

Can I just ask where this high school gets the money to decorate for these dances? They have custom lighting for goodness sake! I didn't even think there were enough adults alive in Mystic Falls to have jobs to make money for these things. 

Meanwhile, back at villain bonding... Klaus asks Damon how Elena could still love him after all the awful things he's done to her. 

Klaus propses they work together to find the cure. 

And then, as it usually does when two baddies try to be friends, it goes horribly awry. Klaus then tries to compel Damon to stay put. 

 For those of you who missed it, apparently Damon and Ian share the practice of refilling their water bottles from the tap and Damon had been drinking the town water. *No Compulsion*

Meanwhile, we visit the cancelled dance a third time. If this were a Stelena or Delena scene, it would be 30 seconds in length, but because it's Stefan and Bex, it's half the episode. 

And to solidify my love for this man, he does the hallway slide from the Breakfast Club. (Ok, now I forgive you for dragging this non-dance scene out)

Turns out, I am not the only one wooed by Stefan's hallway slide and Bex turns over the dagger to Stefan. 

Back at the Gilbert House, Jeremy finally arrives and lots of fighting between the Gilbert siblings and Kol ensues. It ends terribly for Kol though. 

 RIP Kol and your bat and your funky new hair. On a serious note, those were some serious special effects. I'm still trying to figure out if they did this with CGI or if some poor stunt man was set ablaze. 

Unfortunately, they had an audience- Klaus. He was less than happy that he didn't get to put Mr. Pointy into his brother's heart himself. 

Stefan breaks the news to Bex that Elena killed her baby bro and that he'd still do anything to protect Elena and her brother, oh and even Damon. Bex was not a happy camper. 

Back at Salvatore Central, Elena and Damon have a short but sweet reunion and pretty soon the gang's all there. 

After super snarky Stefan makes some crass remarks to Damon, Damon spills the beans that Stefan and Bex bumped uglies the night before. Elena gets upset and Stefan tells Damon to use the sire bond to control his woman. Well, that goes over like a fart in church, and Damon gives Stefan a long overdue punch.  (I love you Stefan, but you kind of had that coming)

 So here's where I'm like, "Oh no!, They're fighting again, how awful." When suddenly there was a magnificent event that broke up the fight and got everyone's undivided attention. 

 And I am now at a loss for words. I'm sure that the episode ended, but I'll be darned if I can remember anything after Jer tore off his clothing. In fact, just this picture is making me a little short of breath. 

Can't wait for next week!

Some thoughts:
Who's going to be naked next week?
What are they going to do with a living room full of Klaus?
Where will he pee while they are gone?
Do vampires pee?
Who is going to decipher that map on Jer's fabulous chiseled chest?
How awkward is that road trip going to be now that everyone has swapped "dance" partners and knows about it?

Thanks to Jo for helping me out with some witty quotes. :)

The Vampire Diaries

Season 4 Episode 4

"The Five"

Another awesome flashback episode. We start right away with a clearing in the woods filled with 5 hot hunks and a Jasmine Guy stunt double. (RIP Grams x2). And we can all probably guess by now that the chanting chick in the middle will probably turn out to be a Bennett witch. You can't understand her because she's speaking a language I don't (So it could be Spanish for that matter) but you hear the word Immortalitado or something. That's ominous but not as ominous as the fire soup she spills out on the ground that instantly etches tattoos on the arms and really hot chests of the 5 guys with her. Then the one guy lifts his sword up and we see the mark on the sword and what do you now, it matches Connor the hunter's tattoo. 

Cut to Damon rounding up items from Connor's trailer for the first ever Mystic Falls supernatural yard sale. I mean why not, they'd probably do really well. Whatever happened to the Gilbert watch anyway? That'd probably fetch $50 or so. Stefan tells Damon they are not fighting with each other over Elena when Damon gets a phone call from his favorite Sheriff. (It's Liz) Turns out Connor's body wasn't found in the blast wreckage. While Stefan is processing this new information, Damon takes a moment to drop that he's going on a road trip with Elena to teach her how to feed. And because we know what goes on during Damon/Elena road trips, Stefan is sufficiently, but quietly pissed. 

So, like any pissed boyfriend would do, Stefan goes to see Elena to ask her just what the hell she thinks she's doing. She assures him that he is helping her through this transition even though it's obvious that Damon is, but in her happy little world, she finds some way of justifying it and distracts Stefan by seducing him at arrow point. 

Back at the Mystic Grill, Bex is still trying desperately to get Matt to forgive her. She bought him a truck! Nice gesture Rebekah, but I'm thinking it's going to take more than that and so if Matt. He tells her to take a hike, which didn't shock Rebekah as much as Klaus suddenly appearing at the grill. He has come to discuss some things with his little sister and of course he goes about getting information from her in the most obnoxious way possible. Bex tells him to go to hell. 

I'm not sure why Stefan and Caroline couldn't go with Elena and Bonnie to college. Stefan could teach Elena to feed if Caroline was there to monitor the whole process, but of course, that wouldn't be as much fun and Delena fans would be even more mad if Damon and Elena didn't get to go on these totally inappropriate road trips together. So Damon pulls his car up right in the middle of the campus on a walk way and parks his car. Cause a 164 year old vampire apparently doesn't have to obey traffic laws. I don't know how long this trip was but Bonnie gets out of the car already grumpy and judgy and lets Elena know that she's not happy with it, but if it will keep her from eating her college roommate next year then she'll tolerate it. And as if Bonnie wasn't in a bad enough mood, Damon has to make a smart ass remark about sorority girls and Bonnie rolls her eyes. 

The merry 3 decide to crash a lecture. Elena thinks that it is the perfect time to discuss how she doesn't want to become a ripper. Good thinking Elena, have a heart to heart with Damon about your vampire nature in a lecture hall surrounded by 100 college kids. Needless to say, professor hottie pants doesn't like people talking during his lectures and says something to them. Damon tells him," I just love witches" to which Professor Hottie Pants replies, "Yeah, you and me both brother." Woah! No foreshadowing there at all. Apparently our newest edition to the TVD cast has an affinity for witches, which from the sound of it, didn't or isn't going well. 

The writers on this show really enjoy making me spit out my beverage all over the TV screen. They have neglected Stefan for too long, but they made up for it all in one line this week. He had  one of the funniest lines in the whole show this week. Klaus has Connor all locked up in this medieval torture device thing and Stefan looks at it and says to him: " I was going to take him, but I figured you went through such trouble to truss him up in your red room of pain" BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You know Paul's on set reading that book between takes. ;)

After I recovered from laughing so hard about that, the Klaus-Stefan sexual tension continues. Stefan has a seat and Klaus tells him a bedtime story about the five, ending the segment with the fact that they hold the answer to all Stefan's prayers. Now I'm thinking Stefan is hoping like hell that Klaus isn't actually bad ass enough to be able to hear his prayers. lol But as they cut to commercial, I was left intrigued. His prayers could be about many things. "Dear God, please protect Elena from all the bad things in this world. Please strike down Damon any time he tries to steal my girl, please let these blood cravings stop before I rip someone important's head off, Please let all the kitties in the animal shelter get adopted by loving families and dear God I pray, let Klaus finally realize his feelings for me." Or at least that's what I am guessing he prays about. 

Oh, I forgot, the story that Klaus tells Stefan includes flashbacks to Elijah and he at a renaissance fair with fancy long hair. Save me a turkey leg boys.

Back to the Grill where Matt is keeping it running, He walks over to talk to April, who is sitting alone at a booth. She is explaining to Matt how she's not a loser and just a lame plot device at this point, when Bitchy Bex comes charging in. Apparently, they were having a girl's lunch when Rebekah got summoned to talk to Klaus. Matt walks away after telling Bex that he's keeping the truck. (Go Matt!) And out of the blue, Stefan shows up, and compels April not to remember the conversation he's about to have with Rebekah. What happened to Elena's tatic where she just tells April to go randomly wander off and look at stuff? Since when is Stefan the king of compelling? I don't think I like your behavior mister!! Anyway, he talks to Rebekah about helping him get whatever it is Klaus wants and in return, I guess he'll compel Matt to like her. At least I'm guessing that's how Stefan is going to get Matt to forgive Bex, because god forbid he talk to someone these days when you can just compel them. 

Back at college, Elena decides it's a good idea to eat her first victim in broad daylight on the same path that Damon parked his car on earlier. What is it about that walk way? Is there a cloaking device that keeps the thousands of students on campus from seeing what they are doing? Thank god her attempt failed when Elena saw that her potential victim had a little sister and chickened out. What is Damon thinking? Didn't he think anyone would notice the girl walking around campus with a bloody neck? At least have the decency to drag your victim off into the woods like they do in Mystic Falls.

Next, we are taken to the second most awkward dinner party in the history of TVD. Rebakah and Stefan are at Klaus' dinner table with a lavish banquet set out before them. Klaus and Rebekah are arguing obnoxiously in typical Original sibling fashion and here comes Stefan's second best line of the episode: "Can I just name the millions of other people I'd rather be having dinner with" HA!! Love you Sassy Stefan. So Klaus gets on with his story about how they found out that the tattoos on the hunters were a treasure map and the treasure was the ultimate weapon against vampires. Klaus won't tell Stefan what that weapon is just yet though. He's not done torturing Stefan, so he has a hybrid drag Jeremy in the room. Jeremy is going to sketch the hunter's tattoo so that they can have a piece of the map. Stefan is less than pleased, but Klaus rips the eternity ring off of Jeremy's finger, so they have no choice but to obey Klaus' wishes. 

Back at the frat party, professor Damon the ripper is schooling Elena on how to pick her victim. She looks around at all the potential victims, a guy already covered in fake blood, girl carrying a knife covered in fake blood or a total douchebag, not at all dressed up for Halloween, slipping a roofie into a girl's drink. We have a winner! Roofie guy it is. Did anyone else notice that she didn't bother taking the spiked drink away from the girl before she seduced Roofie guy? What happen to the heightened compassion Elena's supposed to have? She leads Roofie guy to a dark room, compels him to keep his trap shut and sinks her teeth in. Damon apparently likes to watch and shows up to make sure Elena doesn't kill the jackass. She almost loses control but Damon reminds her to stop. He asks her how she feels. There must have been some happy drugs in that guy's system because Elena is feeling really good and throws her arms around Damon. While they are hugging, she whispers to him, "I want more". Damon smiles because I'm sure he's thinking the "more" means his penis. That's just my guess. :)

Back in Klaus manor, Jeremy is having a chat with the hunter as he sketches his tattoo. The hunter tells Jeremy that some guy he served with in the army had the mark and felt a burning desire to kill vampires. Then Connor got the mark and the more vampires he killed, the more tattoo appeared. Can anyone see a bit of foreboding foreshadowing here?  My guess for a future plot line? Jeremy can see the mark, one of the five die, he gets the mark and feels a burning desire to kill vampires. That's mighty inconvenient for most of the people currently in his life. But that's just my guess. 

In the awkward dinner party, Klaus is telling Stefan about Rebekah's "deadly slumber party" in which Alexander daggers Bex and the other fab 4. Luckily, Klaus' werewolf side kept him from being killed and he was able to undagger his family and kill Alexander. This sparks a bunch of Big Brother- Little Sister nonsense from the Original siblings while Stefan is forced to listen. Finally, they come out with it. The weapon that is the answer to all Stefan's prayers is a cure to vapirism. Cut to Stefan's shocked face. 

When we come back from commercial Stefan says that there can't be a cure for vapirism. Rebekah and Klaus argue some more... There's a lot of that this episode. Rebekah storms out. Stefan tells Klaus he's an idiot for pissing her off before they can find the answers to his questions. Klaus says that he's not worried because his new BFF, Stefan, can get the answers out of her. 

Back at college, Bonnie and professor hottie pants are chatting about all things witchy. He asks her if she's practicing and she tells him no, she got her powers taken away. He says he knows how angry witches can get, which leads us to believe maybe he loved a witch that got her powers stripped? All these vague comments... He then tells Bonnie that he may be able to teach her some alternative ways to do magic, because that sounds totally safe and not at all creepy... By the way, what is the professor doing at a frat party? That was frowned upon at my college. 

Downstairs, Elena and Damon are feeding and frolicking. I don't think I've seen Elena that happy since her flashback episode when she was a cheerleader and liked to hop out of bed smiling first thing in the morning. So they are feeding and raving and dancing and I'm loving it and they're loving it and then judgy witch chick shows up and gives Elena the look I give my kids when they start to have too much fun. And unlike my kids, Elena sees her and gets freaked out and runs out of the party. The guilt caught up with her. Buzzkill Bonnie! I swear if she wasn't always saving everyone's asses with her mystical powers, they'd have snapped her neck by now. 

In another awkward moment, our two starving artists bond over Jeremy's pencil strokes. Klaus comes in and says, "Nice lines" I rolled my eyes. I think Jeremy did too. After he sees that Jeremy didn't finish the tattoo, he's pissed and tries to choke the crap out of our poor little Jer until Jeremy tells him that it won't all show up until he kills more vamps. If I were Jeremy, I would have led with that information to avoid the whole choking bit. Klaus leaves one of his hybrid minions to guard the hunter and leaves. The hunter tricks the hybrid into coming close and then BITES his ear stud out of his ear all Mike Tyson style. When the hybrid leaves to heal his wounds, we find that the hunter now has himself a lock pick. 

Back at college, buzzkill Bonnie is continuing her rant to Elena and Damon. Elena is upset about feeling good about drinking from people and Damon is trying to tell her that the only way to avoid becoming a ripper is to have fun with it and enjoy being a vampire. I think Elena liked having fun, but is afraid of what that might mean about her since that's the one thing she didn't like about Damon. If she is now enjoying that part of being a vampire, it kind of turns her whole world on its head and she's too emotional right now to handle what that might mean. Hang in there Damon, I'm sure she'll come around. Because the alternative is she and Stefan being broody and mopey together while she throws up bambi blood. I'm all for her and Stefan, but that doesn't sound like a good time. 

Meanwhile, Stefan lures an upset Rebekah to his place to have a fireside chat about their feelings. Rebekah asks Stefan if he would take the cure if there was one. Stefan tells us a heart warming story about having kids and growing old with Elena and dying with Elena that would have made even the Grinch's heart swell. And it worked on Rebekah because she then accidentally discloses that she buried Alexander in the ground with his sword in the spot where they would be married. I don't speak Italian, but I swear she said the name of the church was Salvatore something.... Maybe I just always have Salvatore on the brain though. Of course stalker Klaus was there to hear it all and after one last bought of Original sibling rivalry, he once again daggers poor Bex. On the bright side though, it wasn't on the night of a school dance. :)

Klaus then tells Stefan that he has a plane waiting for him to go to Italy to get the sword and threatens to erase all of Stefan's happy memories if he tells anyone. "Some secrets are stronger than family" No, that's not creepy at all. 

Elena's porch!! And I'm thinking, "Ok this is going to be good. Shit is going to go down. It always does on that porch." But alas Delena fans, payback for all the Stelena cockblocking Damon has done the past few weeks, Stefan gets his revenge. In the middle of Elena breaking Damon's heart by saying that she doesn't want to be like him, Stefan steps onto the porch and asks just what the heck is going on. Damon tells Stefan, "She's all yours" and walks off. Then Elena proceeds to tell Stefan how she doesn't want to survive being a vampire. Stefan, like the good boyfriend he is, consoles Elena. 

Meanwhile, back at Klaus', the hybrid that got his earhole ripped out, is on the phone asking for more hybrid backup when VOILA! Connor is no longer shackled to the board and throws a chain around the hybrids neck and proceeds to rip his head off! EEEW. Then an angry Connor goes storming off to Whitmore college to ask Professor evilpants why the hell he sent him to Mystic Falls. Now here's the kicker, the creepy professor has a print framed in his office of the symbol that the five have tattooed on their hand. Didn't Bonnie notice that? I guess we'll have to wait until next week to figure out what is going on. 

Will Elena survive being a vamp? Will we survive Elena being a vamp?

Does Klaus fly first class to Italy? Is he bringing hybrids or will he actually dig the guy up on his own?

Will Stefan find a way to help Elena that doesn't involve pushing her into Damon's open arms?